Do I put EVERYTHING, I mean, EVERY breath, EVERY bit of energy, EVERY bit of my heart, into what I KNOW I'm supposed to do?
A bigger question is: Do I truly pray for things that I struggle with? I struggle with the idea that I can fully depend on a God who truly does love me. I struggle with the fact that we are in debt and we are trying to get out of it slowly. I struggle with knowing that I go home every night to a home with food on the table knowing that some of my students don't.
I've made it a point to sit down with God daily. If I find time early in the morning while drinking my coffee, or driving to work, or even laying in bed at the end of the day exhausted, I still talk to him.
At church, we are focusing on the story of Honi, a circle maker. He stood before God and created a circle in the sand. He stepped into the circle and told God that he was not moving from the circle until God answered his prayer. We are learning to be audacious and bold in prayer. I've asked God many a time to give Alex and I a mountain. Something that only God can do.
You hear stories all the time about people who have amazing stories that seem like a miracle. Well, that's God. God envelops every part of their being. That's what I want. I want a God moment that, when I tell about it, it doesn't seem possible.
I pray constantly for God to reveal himself to me to show me what to do next. I want to do something BIG. Something that I will look back on and say, I didn't do that. GOD DID.
http://www.lacroixchurch.org/media.php?pageID=115
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I love your spirit and your faith! May God truly answer the desires of your heart!
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